(I Can't) Let It Go
by Ziarea
Summary: "The cold never bothered me anyway." Or at least, that's what Elsa tries to tell herself - but letting go isn't as easy as it seems.


An imagination of what went through Elsa's mind during the 'Let It Go' sequence.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything except the story; all credits to the song and Frozen characters belong to their rightful owners. This story includes minor spoilers as to what happens in this scene in the movie, so be warned~

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_The snow glows white on the mountain tonight_

_Not a footprint to be seen_

She walks quietly up the mountain, the silken gown leaving a faint trail behind her. Soon, the falling snow will cover her tracks; no trace will be left. No one will ever know she was there.

She doesn't know if she wants to laugh or cry.

Gazing around, she takes in her surroundings. The blanket of snow stretches out for endless miles around, into the distant horizons. Not a wolf calls, not a bird sings; all she hears is the howl of the storm. She closes her eyes, feeling the pinprick of frosty crystals.

_A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the queen._

As if reflecting her emotions, the harsh wind increases in intensity, whipping her face. She doesn't—_can't_—feel the sharp cold, even as it stabs mercilessly at her skin. A soft sniffle escaped her. She hugs herself, but she doesn't feel comfort.

If anything, she feels worse.

_The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside_

_Couldn't keep it in_

_Heaven knows I tried..._

Vividly, she recalls the fateful accident so many years ago. The terror and fear in her heart when she realized she almost killed her own sister. She remembers the warnings her parents had given her: Never to reveal her powers to Anna. Never to interact with anyone.

Forever keeping it inside, locked away.

_Don't let them in, don't let them see_

_Be the good girl you always have to be_

_Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know_

The tears are falling now—if one still considers them to be tears at all. The crystals slide down her face, clinking silently on the ground before vanishing into the snow.

She stares at the blue glove that still covers her right hand, recalling the look of horror on Anna—_Anna's!—_face. She remembers how the people recoiled from her when they realized who she really was.

A freak.

A monster.

Her lips tremble, her hands shake.

_"Well now they know"_

Determinedly, she grasps the edges of the glove and throws it into the sky, watching as it drifts away with the wind.

Her heart flutters.

_Let it go, let it go_

_Can't hold it back anymore_

Fourteen years of hidden magic are released. Little flurries escape her hand; she smiles. The smile doesn't reach her heart—still, she tries.

_Let it go, let it go_

_Turn my back and slam the door_

She unleashes a whirlwind of frost into the sky, watching as the ice dissipates into the sky. She attempts to concentrate on the magic—it is all she has left.

Her heart flutters; she still remembers.

_I don't care _

_What they're going to say_

She chants a mantra to herself, becoming aware of the weight of the lilac cloak upon her shoulders. With deft fingers, she unlatches it, allowing it to drift away with the wind— just as the glove had, moments before.

_Let the storm rage on_

_The cold never bothered me anyway_

The wind whips her face again; she feels nothing. She never has, and never will.

She looks back, but she cannot see her home any more.

Her heart flutters.

_It's funny how some distance_

_Makes everything seem small_

She smiles once more, taking comfort in the fact that she will never hurt another again.

She will never hurt Anna again.

_And the fears that once controlled me_

_Can't get to me at all_

She runs.

Across the snow-covered mountains, she spies a mountain; it stands far away from the world she once knew.

Her heart flutters. She quickly pushes the memories away; they don't matter, she tries to tell herself.

_It's time to see what I can do_

_To test the limits and break through_

She sends out a frigid blast that manifests into a snow bridge that stands before her.

_No right, no wrong, no rules for me_

Hesitantly, she takes a step forward; the snow freezes into ice at her touch. She smiles.

_I'm free_

Stretching out her arms by her side like an eagle, she begins to run once more.

Away from the memories, away from the misery.

_ Let it go, let it go_

She races up the ice bridge. For the first time in forever, she feels like she belongs. In the sky above, the aurora lights dance. All around her, the zephyrs sing.

_I am one with the wind and sky_

She reaches the mountaintop on the other side. The stars above glimmer quietly, as she takes in the empty landscape around her. There was no turning back now.

_Let it go, let it go_

She realizes the memories are beginning to return.

Her heart flutters; she ignores it.

_You'll never see me cry_

The tears have long stopped flowing; yet, she doesn't feel better. She struggles with memories of the home she can never return to.

_Here I stand_

_And here I stay_

Calling up all her powers within her soul, she raises her hands into the air.

_Let the storm rage on_

Fourteen years of hidden emotions are released; she pours out everything she had kept concealed for so long in her heart.

_My power flurries through the air into the ground_

A fortress of ice forms at her feet; she finds herself standing in the ballroom.

_My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around_

_And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast_

She remembers the laughter, the chatter; it was almost painful to remember.

Almost.

Her heart flutters.

Clutching the diamond tiara that sits proudly atop her head, she pauses. The thoughts and memories are coming back stronger than ever; she can't let that happen.

_I'm never going back,_

_The past is in the past_

With a resolute movement, she flings the tiara out the window. She watches it go.

The sky glows; it will be dawn soon.

When the new day comes, she hopes all the memories will be gone.

_Let it go, let it go_

_When I'll rise like the break of dawn_

Impulsively, she undoes the tight bun in her hair, allowing her beautiful fishtail braid to cascade down her shoulders. She runs a hand through her hair, feeling the gentle caress of the wind upon her soft hair.

_Let it go, let it go_

_That perfect girl is gone_

She lifts a hand in the air, feeling the silken gown transform. Gazing down, she watches as a fine-looking frosty robe takes shape. As the last symbol of the only life she knew fades away.

Her heart flutters.

The sun is rising now; a red tinge hints at the edges of the horizon. She walks to the open window, the new gown trailing behind her. She watches as the heavens are bathed in a brilliant scarlet hue, as a radiant yellow orb slowly rises into the sky.

_Here I stand in the light of day_

She stretches out her hands by her side, fiercely willing the memories away.

But why won't they go?

_Let the storm rage on_

Tiny crystals fall once again upon the endless, empty backdrop beneath her fortress. They silently disappear into the snow below. She tries not to notice her eyes are wet.

Her lips smile once more, but her heart doesn't.

_The cold never bothered me anyway_

In a swift motion, she allows the doors to slam shut. They will stay that way forever, closing her away from the outside world. Away from the people she loves.

Anna.

_(The cold never bothered me anyway)_

She gazes around at the empty corridors, at the halls that never will be filled with joy and laughter.

She realizes she has lost everything.

_(The cold never bothered me anyway)_

Her heart flutters.

She feels cold.

**-fin-**

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed this story! :) What do you guys think? Do you think Elsa truly was happy in this scene...or was she trying to convince herself that she was? Do drop a review to give your thoughts~


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